Summertime Scaries

It's happening. You know it's happening. I know it's happening. And no ones happy about it. Summer is coming to a close. I don't know what your thoughts are, but I feel like this is super rude.

Not only is it rude, but I also find it to be incredibly anxiety provoking.  Every August I beat myself up with this line of thinking: "Why didn't I go to the beach more? I haven't seen an outdoor movie! I didn't eat enough watermelon! Its official, the summer was absolutely WORTHLESS!" This thought process is totally adorable, and incredibly fun to be around.

This mentality was born out of wanting to do absolutely everything. I was like the Ms. PACman of fun things - I could never stop, and I was totally insatiable! Living in New York City didn't do anything to calm that feeling, there was always so much going on, so much fun to be had, so many "once in a lifetime experiences" that I was afraid to miss!

After my accident that feeling went into hyper drive.  I was so grateful to be alive, every moment that I had on earth was this incredible bonus, and I didn't want to waste it. So for a very long time I was in fast forward. I was going out between 5 to 6 nights a week - getting only a few hours of sleep, having an amazing, joyful, ridiculous time - until that moment when I wasn't.  It stopped feeling like something I wanted to do, and instead it felt like something I had to do.  Plus, life started to catch up with me, I was really sluggish during the day, sometimes kind of snappy and definitely a little cranky. The nights out at bars, parties, and shows were all really fun - but they weren't making me feel awesome, and at the end of the day that's what going out is for - to make you feel awesome. Without that feeling, what's the point?

Taking pressure off of myself to do every single fun thing that I am excited about is something that I still struggle with. Taking time to breathe, to cook myself a nice meal at home, read outside or to clean my apartment, is awkwardly challenging. But, I will say that when I do it, I feel so proud that I listened to myself and gave myself the gift of relaxation and rest.

So, for any of you who are have a case of the Summertime Scaries (that fear that you didn't do enough) - I have something important to tell you:

Don't you worry about a thing, you amazing human! You did so much this summer! I am sure that you kicked this summers ass!! I'll bet you had your bare feet in the grass, that you ate some peaches, you felt hot sunshine on your face, that you delighted in the fact that it was still light out so late, that you listened to the "song of the summer" at least once, that there was a BBQ in your life, or even a glass of two of rose, maybe you saw someone in love get married, you probably hugged a friend you haven't seen in while, maybe complained about the heat and got super happy to be in a place with great A/C. I'll bet you saw a  joyful dog and maybe even kissed someone (right on the mouth!!).  These tiny, but oh so summery, things are the little things that absolutely MADE your summer! All that other stuff that you wanted to do, but couldn't find the time for, I hear it wasn't that fun anyway :) What you did with these last few months was the best. I promise! 

Drinking some rose by myself doing while doing some editing - one tiny, but lovely, piece of a very happy summer :) 

Do you have any tiny things like this that made your summer wonderful? Let me know about them!