Small Bites and Little Victories

I am not embarrassed to admit it, I am obsessed with my physical therapist. Its true.   She knows it, I know it, and now you know it. I have seen a series of physical therapists since I was run over by a truck, but I have never had one as wonderful as Alicia . She is the gem of all gems.  What makes her so incredible, is not only that she is charming, kind and hilarious, but also that she has shown me how all of the different injuries in the various parts of my body (because there are a lot you guys!) impact each other. She was the first person to talk to me about how my scar tissue, is responsible for pains and strains in other places. To help mobilize the fascia ( which, is a thin sheath of fibrous tissue enclosing a muscle or other organ. If you don't think that I looked that definition up on Google, you are dead wrong )  she does something that I hadn’t ever had done before – which is scar therapy. She massages my scars to help to break up the tissue, so th...

Today, I feel super weird. I am closing out my first week of not having a full time job in quite a long time. Truthfully, this is my first full week of not having a full time job in tandem with a side hustle. So, I feel intensely odd. This weirdness is a funny mix of being confused about how to measure myself when I don't have something to point to and say: I accomplished this thing this week. I was paid for it. I have worth! A nd wondering what I am going to do now that my life feels like it is truly in my hands.  I can choose what I want to be when I grow up! I can be responsible for my own happiness! I am not going to lie to you, it is awesome, but is also TERRIFYING.   These anxious thoughts keep running through my brain: what if I waste my time? What if I make the wrong decision? What if I squander this opportunity, what if I can't make money doing what I want to do? What if I end up broke and have to move out of my lovely Brooklyn apartment into my parents house ...

I was at a party a few weeks ago talking to a friend that I hadn't seen in a while. We were catching up and she said - I feel like I don't even need to ask you how you are doing because according to social media things seem to be going awesome! You have the book, you're going on all of these pretty walks, you are smiling in all of your photos, you're doing these talks!! Everything looks so awesome, so just tell me how fabulous you are doing!" I looked at this sweet friend and I blinked, hard. Is that how people think my life is going? Jesus, I am really not telling the full story - at all. "Oh, love bug, the only reason why my life looks so good on social media, is because there is no good Instagram filter for crying in the shower. She laughed, but then saw that I was serious, and I started to explain to her what had been actually happening over the last few weeks.  My position at the non-profit where I had worked for over 5 years had just been eliminate...

Last week I was invited to speak to my friends mom's Book Club in West Hartford, Connecticut. There are barely words for how excited I was about it! First of all, I loved that they had read my book, I love moms, I love the suburbs, and I was pretty confident that there was going to be wine and cheese plate at this event and I LOVE wine and cheese. I am really lucky because I work virtually, so I can work from anywhere, so I planned to work from a coffee shop in Hartford for the day.  The most  important thing to me was that I wanted to be set up and totally ready to work at 9:00 am. So I got up at 5 so I could take the earliest train into Hartford. I showered, straightened my hair, put on my "I'm an Author" outfit,  and did some basic eyeliner and mascara so I wouldn't creep onto the Amtrak train looking like a sleepy zombie. In the half dark, I rooted around in my sock drawer to find a pair of socks that I could wear under my black boots, and for the life of me...

In the last few months, I have had the honor of getting to talk about myself in front of groups of other people. It is terrifying and amazing and wonderful all at the same time. In the moments before these talks I feel like I am going to either giggle out of pure joy or throw-up in front of a bunch of strangers . It is awesome! The most recent talk that I gave was for a group of middle schoolers in Vermont. Their guidance counselor had read my book, and had invited me to come and speak to the kids. I was the most nervous I had ever been - 7th and 8th and graders are terrifying! I know they scared the crap out of me when I was one of them. But this seemed like an amazing opportunity to share a part of my life with them, and maybe be helpful in some way. The talk wound up being really lovely, and the kids were absolute gems. They asked some hilarious, thoughtful and intense questions - and I did my best to answer them honestly, without fear and and with intentionality - it felt me...

A week or so ago I got a photo from a woman who I hadn't seen since college (but who I followed like whoa on social media - her life is bonkers beautiful!) it was a picture of a woman on the subway reading my memoir! My book. In the hands of a stranger. On a New York City subway. I let out an audible gasp of joy! I'm not sure if this is true for every author in New York, or for any author anywhere, but a small part of my dream has always been to see a stranger holding my book on subway. It felt like a huge compliment that they would take me with them as they went about their commute. That my little voice was taking them into my life: they were with me at the hospital at Elmhurst, into the physical therapy room at  Glen Cove, to the family room in the house I grew up in, to that same subway where I covered my tears with think tortoise shell sunglasses.  It was incredible! I stared at that picture and another thought creeped into my head - holy shit. This stranger know...

I have been working pretty hard on my hustle lately. Like yesterday, I woke up at 5 am, wrote for an hour, sent some sales ideas and edits for a friend, wrote an article about what you should and shouldn’t say to someone who has been through a trauma, drafted emails to a bunch of different physical therapy schools to see if they might want someone who has been a patient to talk about their experience to give a different perspective to students, I followed up on all of my personal emails. After I closed my computer, I strapped on my sneakers and power walked 4 miles as I watched the sun rise over my sleeping Brooklyn neighborhood. I got home and showered, made myself some coffee and then sat down at my computer to start my work day, and the first thought that came into my mind as I opened my laptop for the second time that morning was Jesus Christ Katie. You are so la z y Let me repeat myself for clarity: Jesus Christ Katie. You are so lazy.     Soooooo, that...